The view from the plateau

Plateau.
I have reached the plateau.
I can see over the edge of the cliff and it looks amazing over there in the land of under 200 pounds.
The path down looks easy enough but my body keeps saying "Nope. I'm happy right here."

At first I increased my exercise and watched what I was eating really closely. And I gained. And I lost. And then I gained. And then I lost. Never actually breaking the 200 mark.
Then I gave up. I basically said "whatever I guess I am stuck here"

And it has been that way for a little over a month, almost two now.

Its driving me freaking crazy!

So weigh in today and yeah I lost a whole pound, but that means I am 201.2 again.
Again! I was there two weeks before for the love of Pete!

A friend told me a while ago about a Ted Talk that discusses the problems of weight loss.
I watched it.

While I agree with a lot of what she says I have a hard time agreeing with everything. Perhaps that is my own confirmation bias since I really want to lose weight. I've seen many people who have successful weight loss and who have kept the weight off.
Also I don't think that the set point is something that you cannot overcome. I think it can be changed.
Unfortunately I think its probably a rather slow process.
I think that weight watchers is a form of mindful eating. I think that is why it has been so successful for so many.

So I have made a decision. I will ride out the plateau for a while longer. I am thinking it will probably last until the current production I am working on is over.
Why? Because I rarely have time to cook and I rarely have time to exercise other than the usual of running around on stage like an idiot.
Once I can start incorporating more exercise then I think I may break the barrier. But I do not expect to lose as fast I was before. Those first 40 pounds came off so quickly. Maybe my set point right now is 200? I honestly cant remember the last time I was under 200. I think it may have been junior year of high school?

I just really, really, really want to be below 200. I wouldn't even mind if I was stuck at 190 for a while just so long as I am below that horrible, least favorite of all, numbers. I would like to some day be the weight I have lied about being on my drivers license for over a decade now.
Wow that just hit me. I have said that I am 175 on my drivers license for OVER A DECADE!
That's almost depressing enough to make me want to sit down and eat a jar of Nutella. Almost.

I think I have finally hit the point in my life, with the help of weight watchers and my amazing support group, where I am ready to change. I am ready AND determined to be healthy. While I would prefer to be 150 pounds and fit into a size 12 jean I don't think that is going to happen. Realistically I want to 175 and wear a size 14.

Mostly though I want to be healthy. I want to not get winded when I bend to tie my shoes. I want to be able to take a couple of loads of laundry up and down the stairs without having to sit down and catch my breath in between. I want to live long enough to see my nieces and nephews grow up and start families of their own. I want outlive all of my damn cats!
I want to see the sun rise from Mount Kilimanjaro, and hike back to Stanley hot springs in a weekend and not feel like I need to cut my legs off by the end of it. In a somewhat sadistic way I want to try to run a half marathon. Okay maybe a not a half marathon. I would settle for a 5k. But I want to be able to say "Yeah I did that, may not have placed by I finished." As opposed to "I cant do that. It would kill me."

So I guess this has been a little rambly but basically I am trying not to get discouraged by the plateau. I am trying to work through it and let it run its course. After losing 40 pounds in 4 months it has felt like the most discouraging thing ever. I just have to get through it though. Ride it out. Its like I am on a drive from Genesee to SLC and I have hit the boring part between Twin Falls and the mountain pass. You know the part where its nothing but flat, straight road accented by the occasional tumble weed. Yeah. I hate that part of the drive. But eventually I will see pretty mountains and trees and arrive at my destination. Just have to keep the car at the speed limit and know that there is better scenery and better company just a ways down the road.